4 AM and I can’t sleep…..

I woke at 4 this morning. I’m tired but can’t sleep. I spent about an hour trying to get back to sleep, watched the news a bit, looked at a couple of old movies, read a bit, but nothing worked. So I gave up and now I write.

It’s not surprising that I can’t sleep. It is now 5:30 AM. It is the start of day 3 in the count down to the end of my police career with the City of Eden Prairie. It is Wednesday and Friday is my last day as Chief. So I’m guessing that might have something to do with it. 25 years of waking up and going to work at the same place. A lot of different jobs and assignments with the department over the years, but the single identity: Eden Prairie Cop, stayed constant. That ends on Friday.

The family and I watched the movie “White Christmas” about a week ago, a family tradition. A song from the movie keeps popping into my head this morning “What do you do with a general, when he stops being a general? ” How about chief, sergeant, lieutenant or captain? What do you do when you stop doing what you do? Well I think I have a plan and what you are reading is part of it. I’d like to help people prepare and go through what I am going through right now, life’s changes. And I strongly believe that a healthy soul, kept that way through spiritual fitness is critical if we are to survive the inevitable changes in life.

I’ll close this post with something that gave me some peace this morning. It helped me rest and re-focus on the day to come. It is a favorite prayer of mine that I go back to often to help find perspective. It says something new every time I read it, but is comfortable and comforting at the same time. It is from “Thoughts in Solitude” by Thomas Merton

My Lord God,

I have no idea where I am going
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself,
And the fact that I think I am following
your will does not mean that I am
actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please
you does in fact please you.
And I hope that I have that desire in all
that I am doing.
And I know that if I do this, you
will lead me by the right road
though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore will I trust you always
though I may seem to be lost
and in the shadow of death, I will
not fear, for you are ever with me
and you will never leave me
to face my perils alone.

Thomas Merton